Grief

As we've all been grieving this week, I came to a realization about how each of us grieve so differently. I guess that should be no surprise as no two of us are truly alike, and we each knew my mother differently.

I have found myself breaking out in tears for no reason whatsoever at times when I haven't even been thinking about my mother. But for the most part I've been able to keep it together. I do so for Lauren, for the rest of the family, and to complete the mission I've set for myself. I've kept myself busy all week with funeral planning. I realized today, that's how I deal best with not only grief but almost anything else in my life, and that's to keep myself busy, to get buried in my work, or my writing or anything else that can take me to another place.

It works for me, but it keeps me out of touch with what's happening around me. I haven't been watching the way everyone else has been dealing with their grief. Some of you have been bearing your burden silently, others weeping out loud, some of you have reacted in anger. I realize anger is one way to handle grief, and in some ways it's the easiest. To be angry at everyone and anything for not being able to prevent the death of a loved one.

So forgive me if I seem distant, and I'll remember to forgive you if you seem upset, tired, distant or any other emotion I've failed to include. We all share in our grief, for we've lost an incredible woman, my mom.